F*** the Fear – It’s not Real Anyway (Great TEDx)
Is FEAR holding you back?
Does fear stop you from pursuing your passion, traveling the world, or embarking on a new life path? Not only is living in fear a surefire way to feel bad now, but it can also lead to regrets later in life — as in, on our death bed.
My Mom’s diagnosis of dementia has caused our family to look over our lives with new scrutiny. Especially in the areas of dreams and passions. I feel blessed to have, what appears to be, a long life ahead of me to pursue my goals and aspirations. But seeing Mom struggle with wanting to still see patients to this day, sometimes I feel really sad. And it is really hard to see Mom completely dependent on others, as she was a feisty little mama in her day!
Fortunately I don’t fall into self pity, nor do I feel pity for my mother. Mainly because Mom told me just a few short months ago that she is happy with how she lived her life. She even says that, though she would still love to go dancing and find a boyfriend, she has no regrets. She lived her life to the fullest, she says beaming with satisfaction!
In the free e-book I wrote outlining the 10 Traits of Highly Resilient People, “living with purpose or meaning” is Trait #10. The belief is that when we are faced with death, we want to be able to look back over our lives and say we have no regrets. Mom has said this repeatedly. And while in the beginning it was hard to hear, lately it has given me comfort and inspiration.
Mom lovingly tells us tales of her traveling the world and partying at discos ’til the wee hours of the morning. In fact, ‘winding her tail,’ as she says with her West Indian accent, was one of the most gratifying ways to celebrate a week of work well done. (That means, dancing, by the way!)
For Mom, giving of her time and expertise to patients gave her life meaning. But enjoying the company of friends and loved ones while jamming to good music was also important.
Will you die with regrets?
A dear friend of mine, Deri Llewellyn-Davies, recently shared in a TEDx a touching experience he had with his father who, on his deathbed, tearfully explained that he was about to die with serious regrets! Deri’s father was sad to say that he hadn’t followed through with many of his dreams and desires. Deri took those words as an ominous warning to check his lifestyle and priorities and craft a life of no regrets. He has since created his own ‘global grand slam’ of crazy adventure challenges, including 6 marathons across the desert, an Iron Man competition and climbing 7 of the highest mountains in the world.
I encourage you to watch it and reflect on your own life. The title of the talk alone should motivate you!
Are you living fully – like NOW?
If all of your superficial memories were melting away, like Mom’s, or you were staring death in the face, could you say that you’ve lived with no regrets and take precious memories of adventure, fun and love with you? Hearing Mom reiterate her satisfaction with her life has given me enormous comfort and inspiration to follow my heart and passion. Living in France for the last 6 years has confirmed that her example was right. I don’t regret the decision at all.
Please let me know about your dreams or regrets. I’d love to hear from you.
Email me: AskDrA (at) AndreaPennington.com